Why American Muslim Women Cannot Get Married
American clerics have noted the alarming rise in the number of unwed American Muslim women. The reasons are multi-faceted. Some of them (taken from an informal survey) include the following:
- City life is not conducive to face to face interactions between Muslim families such that a large number of men are aware of an available woman
- Women delaying marriage to pursue education thus passing her prime
- Women overweight / fat
- Parents getting in the way and demanding a male suitor with restricted criteria
- Women’s perception of men’s lack of maturity
- Women themselves having overly strict criteria
- Sexual abuse history
- Women’s sexual adventures prior to marriage
- Women’s career orientation
- Women’s low self-esteem
- Fear of marriage
- Women feeling or men viewing her as not beautiful enough
- Divorced / Widowed
- No outlet/avenue for meeting Muslim men
- Woman’s disability / handicap
- More available Muslim women in America than available Muslim men
- Women’s adoption of western feminism
The list is not exhaustive and some women may not suffer from any of the above.
In this article the focus will be on the last reason – women’s adoption of western feminism.
The topic of western feminism is rather vast and would take numerous articles to cover. Feminists are generally angry, reactionary, and unfulfilled creatures. It is easy to tick them off and they make for fabulous comedy. Feminism goes against the grain of female nature so much so that several high profile feminists later in life rescind their views and marry and embrace traditional gender roles. They often bear the resulting vituperation from other feminists because the happiness they gain in traditional marital roles is well worth it. Western feminism is an emaciated lamb with scant meat and lots of bones.
In what is one of the best articles written this year on the subject of why American women cannot find marriageable men author Suzanne Venker obliterates western feminism and she does so by completely understanding the nature of man. It is highly recommended that the reader click on the hyperlink above to read that article before proceeding with the remainder of this article.
The following excerpt is taken from a home economics book intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life. This guideline closely mirrors what women have been teaching their daughters for millennia. Women who follow this are extremely happy in their marital lives. If you are a woman who feels this guideline is anathema to you then you are probably a feminist.
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
A Pakistani American man wrote a passionate response to this home economics book: “If western women had followed that, they wouldn’t be so ____ up in 2012. Single moms, ever high divorce rates, completely screwed family system are few of the gifts of “feminism”. Look where this ____ has led you. More and more American men (young & wealthy) marrying foreign women because they are looking for peace and happiness in their lives, something which feminist women have ____ up for herself a while back.”
A wise Moroccan woman untouched by western feminism added: “Moroccan women know the meaning of marriage and what a man needs. It’s not all about the sexual experience but it’s about the mindset and the respect. We believe that a man should be treated like a king, and that he should always feel special. Most women nowadays expect to be equal to their man, and act more like a man then a woman. Marriage these days are failing and the reason is people are marrying for money or people are no longer trying to make it work. Also if a woman does not try hard enough to please her husband, the marriage is a failure. Let’s go back to 30 years ago, women were the queens of their homes, respected by their men and they acted like ladies. So my point is Moroccan women still believe that the men will always have authority in the house, and when you treat him like a king, he treats you like a queen. Plus think about it, if your husband comes home to a cooked meal, beautiful wife, nice environment, you massage him, make him feel relaxed and no stress, do you think he will ever leave you? No, that’s what men are looking for, you need to baby them to keep them, they just won’t tell you go. The trick is to make him dependent on you without being forcing. Do the things he likes, bring him his food, he will never let you go. Act like a modern woman who wants to be equal and you will always be alone. You can always keep respect and dignity and still keep your man. And doing all these things for your man doesn’t mean you are lifeless, you can still have your life, dreams, hopes and enjoy life like anyone else, but with a man in your arms I am Moroccan and I rarely witness men divorcing their Moroccan wives, unless she files for it. I think any woman can keep her man, if she knows the secret to keeping him. It’s not about beauty or body, it’s about intelligence and understanding your husband’s needs and wants, just like economics. Hope this helps.”
In the upcoming months we hope to cover in-depth some of the other reasons cited in the beginning of the article. Until then, bid farewell to feminism and embrace a happy life of home economics and motherhood so that you may be happy.